Seriously. If you are once again caught in another relationship that is sucking for you and you are crying about it to your best friend of 5 years, who do you think you're kidding? Your best friend is most likely tired of hearing it. Unless they are also a Drama Queen, in which case, y'all can keep that over there.
I have one friend, who was once a dear friend. Had been married, spouse couldn't/wouldn't stop cheating. Divorced, married someone else, who also couldn't/wouldn't stop cheating. The first time, I was supportive, but by the time we got to the fourth time with the same person? Yeah, I was over it.
Making mistakes is normal, natural. It's how we learn. Making a mistake once is so forgivable (unless you are in a physically/emotionally/mentally/sexually abusive relationship, then please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) - no one has the right to hit you for any
reason, no matter what they say.)
But honestly, when you start making that same fucking mistake over and over again, it's become a choice you make. And I'm sorry, but if you keep choosing the same kind of partner over and over again, after a while, people stop caring and listening and commiserating. You know why?
Because you aren't learning from your mistakes.
If you keep choosing people who are going to cheat on you and treat you as inconsequential and you don't do a damned thing to change your mindset and partner criteria, then you kind of deserve to be treated that way.
You are teaching other people how to treat you and they are learning their lessons well, unlike you.
I've had plenty of friends in this boat and once we reach the point where they are choosing the same mistake over and over and over, ad infinitum, they get told by me that they probably just need to stop dating and figure out what the hell is wrong with them before starting up again.
Yeah, it's an unpopular thought. Because "I shouldn't be held responsible for my shitty decision making and inability to figure stuff out on my own."
"It's my parents fault. They didn't tell me what real love is."
"It's her fault I'm miserable because she keeps walking around naked falling on other guys' dicks."
"It's his fault because he never brings me flowers/jewelry/cupcakes. It's his fault because he walks around naked with a hard-on and keeps falling into other girls' vaginas."
"It's the other man's/woman's fault. They should've known my boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/wife was married. I'm so angry at that other person."
Really? If you keep dating people who fuck around on and treat you like shit, unless you cloned the first one and keep the spares in your closet (in which case, I can't help you because you're a psycho), everyone you've been involved with has been different from all the rest. The only thing all those different people have in common? Yeah, that would be you.
That tells any reasonably intelligent person on this planet that you need to figure yourself out. Why are you letting people treat you this way?
So, yeah, the first time something like this happens? You'll get plenty of support and love. But when you become a middle-aged Taylor Swift and you're still allowing yourself to be treated like trash and refusing to change your mindset and revamp what you need in a real relationship of equals, no one is going to think you're fucking cute anymore. In fact, you will be building your very own Hater's Club, and they won't be hating on you because they think you're too cute or successful. They're going to be hating on you because you're an idiot.
Sorry if the truth in this hurts. No, not really. Pull your head out of your ass, do some yoga, quit fucking dating for a while. Figure out what your major malfunction is before going back into the pool, and if someone comes your way who wants to treat you in a way not to your liking, at least have balls enough to walk the fuck away and not go back.
Remember:
YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU.
Let all this rattle around in your head for a little while.
